Why Men Need Visions and Dreams part 2

Why Men Need Visions & Dreams

Time to Rise!

Okay men, I have spent a great deal of time speaking to the women about raising their standards and understanding their worth.  This morning I want to speak with you about reclaiming your God ordained roles as husbands, fathers, spiritual leaders, community leaders and more. The last three generations have witnessed men abdicate there roles as kings to live as paupers. We have bought into the lie that it is all about us. The world view of secular humanism has convinced us that we are the final authority on what is acceptable.

In our narcissism, we have found it acceptable to dishonor our wives. Languishing the in the dark hole of egocentricity, we have found it to be an acceptable course of action to procreate and then abandon our progeny. We have abandoned our post in lieu of pursuing our selfish desires. We have left our women struggling to fill the void that we left behind.

We have devalued our women by dishonoring their bodies and ravaging their hearts. We have preyed on their vulnerability. We have raped their hearts, destroying their innocence and decimating their trust. We have failed to honor our greatest treasure and our most prominent blessing.

It is time to rise up. It is time to rise up and live in our purpose. It is time to rise up and set the example. It is time to rise up and face our destiny. It is time to rise up and live up to the standard of our design. It is time to rise up and measure ourselves by the word of God. It is time to rise up and help our women understand their worth. Yes, it is time.

We have squandered our gifts for far too long. God is calling and He is asking, "Who is rise up and go?" He I am Lord, send me, I'll go.! I will go where many have refused to go. I will go into the realm of unselfish altruism. I will go into the inner-city streets and touch the lives of the less fortunate. I will go and take a wife to love with a love that reflects you in every way. I will go live as a father growing in efficiency and effectiveness as my children grow.

I will no longer live for self, but my goal is to serve.

Who is willing to stand up with me. Please be advised that this journey does not stop at the borders and boundaries of Facebook. It calls for us to rise up and go into the streets It calls for us to have an impact in the home. It calls for us to live out the true calling of the Church.

John Wesley, the man known as the great revivalist and the father of the Methodist Church on the foundation of one promise: "Give me 100 men that fear nothing but God, and hate nothing but sin, and we will change the world.", ignited a movement. It sounded like a lofty declaration, I'm sure, but Wesley did just what he had promised. He understood the inherent power of a committed man.

This is why I founded 100 Men of Purpose in 2008 as an official arm of Rick Wallace Ministries. It is time for we men to stand up. ~ Dr. Rick Wallace

Mama Don't Cry (Ch. 15 The Invisible Father: Reversing the Curse of a Fatherless Generation)

One does not have to navigate too deeply into the labyrinthine corridors of our social infrastructure to observe the cataclysmic effect of IFS (Invisible Father Syndrome) on our women. We can see it in a cascade of social issues; issues such as teen pregnancy and STD contractions, the profound affect of IFS. We can see it in the elevated high school dropout rate. It can be observed in the highly dysfunctional relationships that seem to be the norm in contemporary culture. Most of all it can be discovered in the epidemic of women with dwindling self-worth. Let me be clear, this article is not an attack on our women, it is written to encourage and inspire them to overcome all that they are dealing with as a result of IFS. With that in mind we must examine the current state of our women in this country.

Teenage Pregnancy

Although I am a stat junkie I will not force my love for numerical facts upon you in abundance, but I would like to share a few things with you concerning teen pregnancy. Many studies are showing that since 1990 there has been a decline in the number of teenage pregnancies in the United States. However, here are the current numbers which are quite disparaging to say the least.

Every year around 750,000 teenagers will get pregnant.

Depending on the state, teenage birth rates are incredibly different. Nevada has the highest rate: 113 per 1000 and North Dakota the lowest 42 per 1000.

Unmarried teenagers having children account for 24 percent of all unmarried expectant mothers.

More than 2/3 of all teenagers who have a baby will not graduate from high school, hence the correlation with teenage pregnancy and education.

Billions of dollars are spent taking care of teenage mothers and their children and they are more likely to be in the poverty bracket. On the flip side, millions of dollars are spent in prevention programs.

As you can see, although the rate has dropped over the last 20 years with the highest teenage pregnancy rate being in 1988, mostly due to awareness programs, we are still dealing with an alarming number of teens that are having children when they are ill equipped to handle the responsibility. There are a number of experts that have weighed in on the matter as to why there seems to be such a high number, as well as why the concentration seems to be in the southern states. I have read everything from the failing economy to higher learning as having an impact on this social enigma.

It is my belief that we can trace the majority of these pregnancies back to one particular area: The role that the father played in the life of the young lady that is now pregnant. Clearly this book deals with the devastating force of IFS (absentee fatherhood), however, we must grasp with a level of certainty that presence alone does constitute fatherhood in the manner that it was designed to be. The manner in which a father engages his children in the home is just as important as him being there. There are actually some fathers that are in the home and are more absent than the fathers that are not in the home. In fact, there are fathers that are not physically in the home, but are very present in the lives of their children and I definitely want to recognize those men who have made the best out of an extremely difficult situation. We still must acknowledge the fact that there are many fathers in the home that have abandoned their responsibilities as fathers without ever setting a foot outside the door.

Self-Worth
I have worked with several church youth groups over the past year and I have literally seen situations where kids with both parents in the home are coming to programs looking for the support they should be getting at home. The thing that stands out to me the most is that the parents in almost every case were heavily involved in the church. Talking about having your priorities out of order; the church is designed for the family not the family for the church. One should never sidestep their responsibilities in the home in lieu of fulfilling responsibilities in the church.

When a father is not present in the home or fails to function in his ordain role in the home, it carries a lasting effect on his children. It has a particularly unique effect on the female child. The father is the parent that provides identity and self-worth for his daughter. When I speak of self-worth, I mean that from birth the father should be building value in his daughter. He does this by the things he says and especially by the things he does. A father should be constantly confirming and affirming who his daughter is with his words. We know that from the Bible that our words have an unbelievable impact on our lives.

 "But I tell you, on the Day of Judgment men will have to give account for every idle (inoperative, nonworking) word they speak.

 "For by your words you will be justified and acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned and sentenced." (Matthew 12:36-37)

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving... It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. " (Eph. 5:3-4, 12 NIV)

"And whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in [dependence upon] His Person, giving praise to God the Father through Him." (Col. 3:17 AMP)

"This you know, my beloved brethren But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;

"... for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God." (James 1:19-20 NASB)

"NOT MANY [of you] should become teachers (self-constituted censors and reprovers of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standard and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation].

 For we all often stumble and fall and offend in many things. And if anyone does not offend in speech [never says the wrong things], he is a fully developed character and a perfect man, able to control his whole body and to curb his entire nature.
 If we set bits in the horses' mouths to make them obey us, we can turn their whole bodies about.

 Likewise, look at the ships: though they are so great and are driven by rough winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the impulse of the helmsman determines.

 Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze!

 And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man's nature), being itself ignited by hell (Gehenna).

 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea animal, can be tamed and has been tamed by human genius (nature).

 But the human tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable) evil, full of deadly poison.

 With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God's likeness!

 Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.

 Does a fountain send forth [simultaneously] from the same opening fresh water and bitter?

 Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine figs? Neither can a salt spring furnish fresh water. (James 3:1-12)


These are just a few scriptures that speak of the influence and lasting effects of spoken words. Some of the things that fathers say to their children are totally baffling. Most of these men don't even realize the negative impact that their words have on these young lives they have been entrusted with. We have to understand that as primary label givers (those that have the greatest influence on a child's self-image); we must be deliberate in the manner we engage our children.

Unspoken Hurt

In dealing with the issue of absentee fathers we seem eager to delve into the issues of the children and the failures of the men, but unfortunately there is a major issue that we either fail to see or just plain refuse to deal with. In all of this madness that has been brought on by irresponsible men, we have lost sight of the women that have been left behind to manage the mess that we have made.

For every home in which a man has fathered a child and left, there is a woman who is left to pick up the pieces. Who is this woman that is left holding the proverbial bag? Let's take a quick snapshot to see who she is:

She is a Mother:
Approximately 84% of custodial parents are mothers, and
16% of custodial parents are fathers
She is Divorced or Separated:
Of the mothers who are custodial parents:
45% are currently divorced or separated
34.2% have never been married
19% are married (In most cases, these numbers represent women who have remarried.)
1.7% are widows

We can see from the above information that there are some other spiritual issues at work here. The large majority of these single parent situations are because the parents split in either, divorce, separation, or they were never married in the first place. As much as I would like to, I will not address this matter in detail; it would take me to far off course. I do address it in great detail in my book "When Your House is Not a Home". There was a time that the greatest cause for a single parent household would be the death of one of the parents. As you can see here, that is the least of all contributors.

What else do we know about this woman who seems to be carrying a disproportionate part of the burden?

She is Employed:
79.5% of custodial single mothers are gainfully employed
49.8% work full time, year round
29.7% work part-time or part-year
90% of custodial single fathers are gainfully employed
71.7% work full time, year round
18.4% work part-time or part-year
She and Her Children Do Not Live in Poverty:
27% of custodial single mothers and their children live in poverty
12.9% of custodial single fathers and their children live in poverty
She Does Not Receive Public Assistance:
Among custodial single mothers:
22% receive Medicaid
23.5% receive food stamps
12% receive some form of public housing or rent subsidy
5% receive receive TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families)
She is 40 Years Old or Older:
39.1% of custodial single mothers are 40 years old or older

She is Raising One Child:
54% of custodial mothers are raising one child from the absent parent
46% have two or more children living with them

References:
United States. Census Department. Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2007. By Timothy S. Grall. Census, 2009. 26 Feb. 2010 [http://www.census.gov/prod/2009pubs/p60-237.pdf].

First, let me take my hat off to this woman, because despite the odds being stacked against her, she has fared quite well, at least from a secular perspective. She has persevered and progressed and she has remained faithful to her children. As far as she is concerned, I have great respect for her determination and resolve.

I remember a situation as a youth in which I was at a friend's house and his mother was crying profusely because his father had left her for another woman. This was not an uncommon thing I am sad to say, so no one that I grew up with will know who I am speaking of. What stood out about this situation was my friend, who was no more than 10 or 11 years old at the time, attempting to console his mother. The words "Mama Don't Cry" continue to sound off in my mind some 30 years later. A young boy who is not yet a man attempting to rectify a situation he did not create and just by the gravity & force of the situation would almost certainly perpetrate the very same crime on another woman.

When I look at the situation from a mature and educated mindset, I see the inner workings of the enemy. I can see Satan emoting because there is one more home destroyed and rendered dysfunctional. I can see the selfishness that was the source of the negative action perpetrated at that time. More importantly I understand the gravity and the long term implication of such inexcusable behavior. Lives were eternally altered. Society was impacted as yet one more dysfunctional and crippled home was added to the lot.

Here she is, this woman of fortitude and determination. She took the best shot that the enemy could throw at her and she pressed forward. At first glance one might say that the woman simply adapted to her new environment and has totally acclimated to her new role. I do not concur. The woman has accomplished much in the way of advancement and success; however, just as the man has left a void for her to fill, her moving into that void left a void yet still.

The problem is when a woman takes on the responsibility that the man was intended to carry it creates an imbalance socially, spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. There is a particular design in God's plan for mankind. God designed male and female.

"So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them." (Gen 1:27 AMP)

When God designed and created male and female, each were designed with a particular purpose in mind. Physically, emotionally, and psychologically men and women differ. Their uniqueness and distinction from one another are not without precise purpose. Men were created to protect and provide and women to nurture. Each has a particular function in which they are naturally equipped to perform. When a woman is forced out of what is natural for her the system through which we are to function becomes imbalanced and that imbalance slowly creates a shift in direction and productivity. Whenever you take anything and use it contrary to its design, two things happen: First, it does not function optimally in that function it was not designed to do. It may very well get the job done, but nowhere as efficiently as the tool that was designed for that specific task. Second, it no longer functions optimally in what it was designed to do, because it has been altered by misuse.

The single mother has done an outstanding job in attempting to hold things together; the problem is that her apparent success has come at a price. In so many cases the women has become bitter and callused toward men and many times life in general. Because she has had to be the nurturer and the disciplinarian, her ability to nurture has dissipated. Her areas of strength are no longer prevalent because she has not the time to master them. She is spread too thin on too many fronts.

She has also become extremely career minded. Now don't get me wrong, I am not in any way saying that a woman can't have a career, but I am saying that when a career affects her biblical role and her children and society as a whole suffers from it, it has become a problem.

One the greatest problems that has risen from the pits of this horrible mess I have dubbed IFS is the "I Don't Need A Man Syndrome". This is a phenomenon that is growing almost exponentially. Women have become disenfranchised with men and they have decided that they can do this thing all by themselves. I'm not talking about women living single in the traditional sense. I'm talking about women who have decided to purposely create single family homes with no intention of being with the father. In some cases they are using sperm banks and have no idea who the father is. Because secular philosophies and paradigms run rampant through the corridors of Christianity, it is easy to see how even Christian women find this to be an acceptable practice. The problem is that it does not fit the Biblical model for family life and it does not take into consideration the fact that there are certain functions that the woman was simply not designed to perform.

We are witnessing the unraveling of the moral fiber of this country at a rate that is mind boggling. Some will say that I am simply left behind in time. For those that feel that way, I would like to remind you that cultural metamorphosis and progression does not in any way negate or transcend God's design and plan for mankind. The family is the nucleus of the nation and when its true design is spurned by enough people you will find anarchy, moral decay, and pure antinomianism. The family has to be restored to its true design and purpose. This begins with men reclaiming what they have to this point abdicated, their God ordained roles as leader, providers and coverers. We as men have gone so long out of position that this will not be an easy task. We have walked in the arena of irresponsibility with virtually no accountability so long that some will literally have to be dragged back kicking and screaming.

With the same emphasis, women will have to relinquish some of the territory they have claimed over this period of anarchy. They will have to assume their God ordained roles as well. This will not be easy especially; reason being that there is no trust. When men vacated their roles and positions they left scarred, hurt and disappointed women in their wake. These women have experienced nothing but excuses and total disregard for so long that trust will have to be earned. Men will have to slowly work back into their roles. The tendency will be to power their way back in, but that will not prove effective. This can only be accomplished through the workings of the Holy Spirit. When the Christian nucleus of the nation begins to walk in complete surrender to the Holy Spirit we will see awesome results. We will begin to see the mending of broken hearts and the restoration of the family as God intended. There is no other way.


Restoration

The question now is: Where do we go from here. We have established the fact that we have made quite a mess of things. We have faltered in an assignment and placed ourselves out of the will of God. Subsequently, we have suffered the repercussion of our waywardness. We find ourselves in a situation where it seems that all hope is lost. As we glance into the heart of the matter all we see is destruction, hurt, distrust, and bitterness. We see a world that has lost its way and doesn't seem to have a clue of how to right the ship. Yet, I am here to tell you that there is hope. We belong to a God that is capable and faithful. He is not only able to reverse this mess we have placed ourselves in, but he is willing.

Failure among God's people is not a new concept. David failed, Elijah failed, Moses failed, All twelve of the disciples failed, Jonah failed and I could go on. The evidence of the failure of God's people is overwhelming; however, just as equally overwhelming is the evidence that God is in the restoration business. As we progress through the Word of God, we see that even when God's people are disobedient and find themselves in the product of their disobedience, God hears their cries of repentance and performs the unquestionable act of restoration. Yet in seeking this restoration we must gain a true understanding of what restoration is and what it requires.

"Restoration is more than mending broken hearts and bringing closure to sad chapters in life; it is refusing to surrender any of heaven's own to hell's work; it is redeploying wounded soldiers (restored) into constructive service for the glory of GOD. While certain area's of service may be forfeited, depending upon the nature of the sin committed, we should remember that GOD controls the future and even HIS second best is usually pretty good."Author Unknown

Restoration is not simply letting go and getting back that which was lost. It is a process that calls for sacrifice and commitment. We as soldiers cannot be satisfied with even one casualty. We cannot be content to sit idly by while the war rages before us. Restoration includes recovering from your wounds and getting back on the battlefield where you are needed. Restoration is assuming the task you were designed for no matter how late it the game.

Restoration begins with a veracious assessment of where we are in our walk and an acknowledgement of where we have failed; a searching out of God in all that we are and do. There is no greater example of that than David's prayer to God after his sin with Beersheba which leads to him having her husband Uriah killed. Listen to what David says.

HAVE MERCY upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.

 2Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

 3For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.

 4Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment.

 5Behold, I was brought forth in [a state of] iniquity; my mother w
as sinful who conceived me [and I too am sinful].

 6Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.

 7Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.

 8Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

 9Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.

 10Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.

 11Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

 12Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.

 13Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.

 14Deliver me from bloodguiltiness and death, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness (Your rightness and Your justice).

 15O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

 16For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering.

 17My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

 18Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

 19Then will You delight in the sacrifices of righteousness, justice, and right, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering; then bullocks will be offered upon Your altar. (Psalm 51:1-19 AMP)

David acknowledges his sin. He does not make excuses for it. He does not attempt to rationalize it away. He does not use the wayward movement of others as justification. He simply mans up and says Lord I blew it; please forgive me and wash away the guilt so that I can continue on in this fight. This is what we have to do. We have to acknowledge that we have missed the mark and fell short of our purpose. We must stand before God and give an account and trust that in His grace he will fix what we can't.

Then we must repent. This means turn away from the sinful behavior to walk in the manner we have been called to walk. To expect God to provide complete restoration while we are still displaying behavior that will only bring more destruction is simply foolish. There has to be a changing of our actions which begins with the transforming of our minds (Roman 12:1-2).

There must be restitution. Whenever it is possible we must make amends for the damage we have done. This does not mean that we place ourselves on the hook with an unforgiving person that has only the intentions of vengeance. We are never called to mortgage our future in order to pay for our past. Christ covered that for us on Calvary. We are, however, to make an honest attempt to make amends.
Lastly, we should begin to walk in the spirit of restoration. We should live our lives as if we have already been restored. This calls for preemptive praise. This is praise that takes place before the manifestation and keeps the enemy at bay while we wait on the Lord to perform his marvelous work.

For every woman out there that is raising a child on your own, to every woman that is bearing the scars of an abusive relationship (emotionally or physically), to every woman that has been cheated out of their innocence, I personally stand in the gap for the man that caused you your heartache and declare at this moment: this is your year of restoration. This is your year of fulfillment and joy. This is your year of coming out. You are coming out of the darkness of abandonment. You are coming out of the pit of loneliness. You are coming out of the valley of despair. Yes this is your year. Let go of the pain and bitterness so that you can receive what God has prepared for you. I have one last thing to say to each you as you read this:  Mama Don't Cry!


Don't forget your Copy of The Invisible Father: Reversing the Curse of a Fatherless Generation

Responsibility

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” ~ Bruce Lee

Success begins with owning your failures and that begins with courage and assuming the ownership of your responsibility in life. Daniel Webster once said that the greatest  thought to ever occupy his mind was the thought of his individual responsibility to God. This is where our minds should be constantly.

No matter what the responsibility, whether to our spouses, children, followers, etc, the truth is that the responsibility to all of these people begins with our individual responsibility to God. As we seek to honor God he will afford us the opportunity by positioning us to honor others. ~ Dr. Rick Wallace

Don't forget your copy of The Invisible Father: Reversing the Curse of a Fatherless Generation 

Getting out of God's Way

October 30, 2012

Getting out of God’s Way
Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns,” - (Philippians 1:6 New Living Translation).

Friend to Friend
He ironed. I watched.

I stood in the door frame of my guest room, watching my nephew Jonathan iron the wrinkles out of his crumpled shirt, the rumpled creases out of his crumpled heart. He ironed and talked. I watched and listened.

Jonathan, my twenty-seven-year-old nephew, stopped by for a visit on his way to a wedding in my hometown. I’ll take every opportunity to spend time with my two nephews, Stu and Jonathan, and their sister Grace Ann. I’ve always been convinced that the stork dropped them off at the wrong address, missing my doorstep by 200 miles or so. I’m just crazy about them.
But life hasn’t been so easy for this precious nephew, or his siblings. While they have an adoring godly mother, it has been the absence of a father that has left a lingering ache – an oozing wound. Each one has reacted differently to the abandonment, but it has been Jonathan, the youngest, who seems to have struggled the most.

I’ve always known that God had a special plan for Jonathan. The shaping and molding by God has been fierce, intentional, deliberate. But today he ironed.

“Aunt Sharon, can I borrow your iron to press my shirt for the wedding?”
“Sure, Bud,” I replied as I pointed him to the board.

I plugged the iron in the outlet, leaned against the doorframe, and watched.
As Jonathan moved the iron back and forth across the wrinkled fabric, he ironed out much more than a shirt. He ironed out the wrinkles in his heart, pressed out the pain of life without a dad, smoothed out the hurt of abandonment, and steamed out the stubborn creases of years of questions. Why did his dad leave? Why wasn’t he worth sticking around for? Why wasn’t he worth the effort? Why was he more affected and infected by the virus of abandonment than his siblings?

He ironed.

He pressed.

He talked.

I watched.

I listened.

I prayed.

I loved.

“God has done so much for me and in me,” he explained. “It has taken a long time, but He has healed me. He has mended my heart. I’m ready to move on now. More than my dad coming home to me, I pray that he will come home to Jesus. That’s what I want more than anything.”
Twenty minutes later, Jonathan finished ironing. One shirt. One heart.

You know, I could have said, “Hey, let me just iron that for you.” I could have finished the job in two minutes or less. But this was not about ironing a shirt. This was about pressing out the rumpled creases in a young man’s heart. I couldn’t do that. Only he and God could. Jonathan needed to hold the iron of God’s love and move it back-and-forth, back-and-forth, until the rumpled mess was smoothed. My job was to watch. To listen. To pray. To love.

How about you? Is there someone in your life that has a wrinkled wounded heart? Have you yanked the healing tool of God’s love out of His hand and tried to iron out his or her problems yourself? Did you ever consider that you might be standing in the way of what God is trying to do? Those are hard questions. Perhaps you have thought that you could solve a problem or heal a heart quicker than waiting on God. Perhaps you’ve stepped in where you were never meant to step. (Speaking of stepping…I think I’m stepping on some toes. Mine are starting to hurt too.)

It’s hard not to step in! Our momma’s heart wants to help. We don’t like to see our kids, or anyone, hurting. But just as the caterpillar has to struggle to emerge from the cocoon, a soul has to struggle in the dark places of life in order to soar. And we shouldn’t mess with that.
It was such a joy to hear how Jonathan had pressed through the pain and let God iron out his questions – how God had smoothed out the bumps in the rocky road of adolescence after abandonment. He wears his mended heart well. That doesn’t mean that it won’t need a touch up pressing when daily life ruffles-up the fabric of his heart from time to time. But I have every confidence that he and God will iron out the wrinkles together.

And the shirt? It looked pretty good.

Let’s Pray
Dear Lord, forgive me for trying to fix other people’s problems when they are not mine to fix. Today, I’m committing to watch, to listen, to pray, and to love. Help me not to get in Your way of what You are doing in someone else’s life.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

A Wake Up Call: Time to Build Your Legacy

A Wake Up Call

As a minister of God’s Word, an author and a business man it is easy for me to find myself striving toward the next goal and caught up in the lures of life. Even as a minister, pushing to accomplish the vision without proper consideration being given to priorities and God’s ultimate will can easily lead to failure in ways that you may not be aware of.

When I wrote The Invisible Father almost six years ago, the vision was clear and the message was lucid; Men, it’s time to step up.” What wasn’t clear to me at the time is that even in pursuing a great cause like bringing men back into the functionality of their Divine design as husbands, fathers, community leaders, coverings, providers and more can lead to misdirecting energy and effort. In other words, it is extremely easy to get caught up in the cause and miss your own opportunities to grow in the same area.

I was having a conversation with my youngest daughter this past weekend. For the most part, the conversation went as usual. I spend a lot of time with my daughters confirming their identity and self-worth. This was another one of those times. Somewhere in the conversation between me telling her how beautiful, intelligent, and exceptionally creative she is, a light came on in my head. Rick, your ministry, your message, your anointed calling is extremely important, but your role as a father will leave a much greater and lasting legacy. The question that followed immediately after this epiphany was, “Have I done anything as a father that has made such an indelible mark that it has solidified my legacy as a father and the answer, unfortunately, was no. Had I been there in some way? For the most part. Had I spent time confirming and affirming my children? Yes. Had I told them I loved them? Every chance I got? Yes. Had I given all that I had as a father, had I been consistent as I should, did I reflect God the Father’s love in my love toward them? Not as I should.

I praise God for this revelation because it gave me a new focus. It rekindled a new passion in me. Some would think I would be saddened or discouraged by my less than stellar assessment of my status as a father. On the contrary, I accept the challenge and appreciate the opportunity to rise above the mediocre social paradigms that set the standard for fatherhood in this culture. Am I proud of where I am? No. However, I see how God will use the father that I am becoming to inspire others to follow suit. I am praying that this transparent assessment will motivate other men to do the same. Instead of patting ourselves on the back for the things we are doing right, we should take the time out to discover where we could improve.

Dr. Rick Wallace Ph.D.

Please don’t take this as a disregard of all that some fathers are doing in honoring their filial responsibilities. I solute every man that has remained committed to his paternal responsibilities. I wish more fathers would assume more active roles in the lives of their progeny. I just don’t want us as a whole to settle for the secular standards of fatherhood. I don’t want us to become conceited in our accomplishments and lose sight of the need to continue to rise. There is kingdom work to be done out there and begins with Godly men assuming their God-ordained roles.

Let today be the day that you recommit. Let today be the day that you determine within your being that you will rise. Let today be the day that you establish a covenant with God and your children. Commit to be accessible. Commit to be present (whenever possible, I know that there are fathers that are not in the same City with their children. This means that you have to exert more effort into finding ways to being impactful in your absence.) I have one final question: When you join me? ~ Dr. Rick Wallace

Dr. Wallace is the author of The Invisible Father; Reversing the Curse of a Fatherless Generation. 

A Call to Order

Men: I am often asked the question: If you can change anything about you life, what would it be. The common answer would be "I would not change a thing."...However, the truth be told, if I could change one thing, it would be this:

"I would strive to honor every woman in my life (mother, daughters, sisters, friends, and especially the wife that God will provide). I would take my Godly manhood more seriously and apprehend the immense impact that I have on those around me. I would choose to empower the women in my life instead of belittling or berating them through my acts of indifference and disregard. I would exude quiet and effective confidence in lieu of arrogance and self-indulgence. My swagger would based on the power of God present in my life instead of some false sense of self-importance." I thank God that he is a God of second chances and that it is never to late to find your way.

So men I am calling each of you to step up and live out your design as husbands, leaders, coverings, providers, protectors and the ultimate reflection of Christ."

Women: "To my Christian sisters, on behalf of every man who has hurt you, every man who has left you with the responsibility of raising your child alone; to every woman who has had a man decimate their dreams; to every woman who’s scarred emotionally, physically, or spiritually, I personally apologize. You too, have been scarred, disappointed, disenchanted, and in many ways cheated. You have been deterred from fulfilling your own destiny, but the time has come to rise up and become all that God designed you to be." (Dr. Rick Wallace, The Invisible Father: Reversing the Curse of a Fatherless Generation, Odyssey Media Group, 2011)

Ladies it is time for you to understand your self-worth; to determine what you will and will not accept and to walk in your design. Whether you realize it or not you are the strength of a man. Your words of affirmation confirms his manhood and directs his energy and focus. [A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek him first in order to find her]. Allow God to place a man in your life that will honor you and together you will fulfill God's design for your life.

God bless

Dr. Rick Wallace

RWM Partners with Promising Youth Alliance

Rick Wallace Ministries Partners With Promising Youth Alliance

Rick Wallace Ministries is proud to announce that it will be partnering with the Promising Youth Alliance to address the multitudinous issues that face our inner-city youth in the City of Dallas. Initially the efforts will be focused on the youth that reside in the Rosalind Homes in the central part of the city near Downtown Dallas.

As the president of RWM, it gives me great joy to be able to be a part of the great work that PYA is doing in the Rosalind Homes. Taking the time to understand the challenges that our inner-city youth are facing and being prepared to engage the youth concerning these issues is paramount to providing these young people with viable options they will need in order to lead to a successful and productive life. PYA is doing just that.

The Rosalind Homes are inundated with at risk youth. Why are they at risk? First of all, there is no male presence. The Rosalind Homes has a 95% female head of household ratio. What this means is that there is no true male influence in the homes and community in general. Without a positive male presence there is no one to effectively establish identity or provide a positive example of manhood. This becomes an issue for both boys and girls. Girls gain their identity and self-worth from their fathers, and without a father’s present, these girls have no one to instill this value in them. It also robs young girls of true examples of manhood so that they will be able recognize it when they see.

When there is no male presence in the house, young boys suffer because they have no role model to help them develop into the young men they were designed to be. This leaves the mother in a position she was not designed to fill. Granted, single mothers have done a great job in filling the void left behind by men, but the truth is without men assuming their proper role, we leave young men to figure out so much on their own.

Second, the average household income falls below the poverty line, and this places added pressure on both the parents and children.

You can see the effects of poor paradigm development as the view of success has been skewed. These kids suffer from colorless dreams, dwarfed goals, tamed visions and restless despair.

Then there are other issues that emerge, such as poor healthcare, exposure to violence, etc.

When an organization such as PYA moves into a community like Rosalind Homes it says to the youth in that community that someone cares and that they are committed to helping them engage their struggles.  

PYA has partnered with proven programs such as Big Brothers & Big Sisters, Boys and Girls Club, and Phoenix House to provide a comprehensive structured program that addresses the unique needs of these kids. From mentoring, tutoring, and drug prevention, these young people are provided with the resources that help to increase their chances for success in life.

The way that RWM will enhance what PYA is already doing is by introducing, implementing and administering our Kingdom Coaches program. Kingdom Coaches is a ministry that will focus on mentorship and leadership training. We understand that each person has individual gifts and talents and we will carefully evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of each individual. Beginning at age thirteen, we will begin preparing young men and women to be kingdom leaders in the Kingdom of God. Not only will this training prepare these young individuals for future leadership roles in the Kingdom, but it will also give them the necessary tools to adequately and appropriately deal with peer pressure. Instead of succumbing to the pressure from peers to take negative action, they will be able to stand up in their identity as children of God and be the example of exemplary living.

We will work to develop positive self-images within the individuals mentored. We understand that there has been a gulf created by the void left when men abdicated their God ordained positions in the home, community, and church. The depth and width of this gulf can only be diminished and ultimately eliminated by filling the void left behind, and proper training will prepare subsequent generations to do their part, while empowering them to overcome the obstacles that are before them.

We here at RWM understand the challenges that are before us and we know that it will not be easy. Yet, we are committed to the task at hand and failure is not an option. Each individual youth that we engage through this program has a life that is valued at priceless. It is our responsibility to reveal this truth to them and equip them to optimize that value.

I am personally asking each you to support this monumental endeavor as we all know, advancing in kingdom work is not accomplished without selfless sacrifice. This is your chance to impact the future of this nation in ways that can’t be quantified by statistics, but if we don’t get involved, the statistics that quantify our failure will be horrific. To support then monumental endeavor visit http://www.rickwallaceministries.bbnow.org .

Thank you in advance.

Best regards,

Dr. Rick Wallace

Founder & President

Rick Wallace Ministries

The Power of Manly Love

Someone asked Mother Theresa 

what society could do to promote world peace,

and she responded:

"Go home and love your family!"

"The righteous man

is the one who lives

for the next

generation."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Nations and empires

rise and fall

on the strength

of their families."

Cr. Carle Zimmerman

In light of the aforementioned quotes I must asked the question: What are we doing to improve the world around us? As fathers, leaders, and husbands, how are we positively impacting those in our periphery? Starting with me, I am calling on the Christian men in this nation to raise their level of engagement in the home and community. 

As Christian men, it is our responsibility to make our presence felt in the world around us. We cannot allow ourselves to be quasiconforming to the secular paradigms that are presented through non-Christian world views. We must seize the moment to follow our design as leaders, providers, protectors and spiritual coverings. The enemy would have each of us believe that our past has in some way disqualified us for future advancement. I want you to understand that irregardless to what you have or have not done in the past, God can use you now. You can still be a good father, even if your children are now adults. You can still master husbandry, even if you have a failed marriage under your belt. You are not limited by your fallibility, it is your fallibility that creates the orifice through which God enters in and empowers the mission. 

Men, we are the sources of identity for our children. We are the model of what they should expect from genuine Christian manhood. We may have some distance to travel to obtain the measure of manhood that reflects Godliness, but the goal is within our reach. I encourage each of you to rise up a and walk in your destiny. Don't allow the enemy to render you dysfunctional with his illusions of utter failure. Your fallibilities reveal your humanity, but the Holy Spirit provides the power necessary to overcome these weaknesses. 

Let's join together and commit to making a difference starting at home. 

Be blessed,

Dr. Rick Wallace 

Fatherhood In America: What's a DAd to Do?

Fathering in America: What’s a Dad Supposed to Do?
By MARIE HARTWELL-WALKER, ED.D.

 Americans seem more confused than ever about the role of fathers in children’s lives. On the one hand, more and more fathers are absent for all or significant periods of time. According to the 2006 Census, 23 percent of children under 18 do not live with their biological father and the number is climbing. On the other hand, search “fatherhood” on the web and you’ll find dozens of websites dedicated to teaching, encouraging, and supporting men in becoming more nurturing and involved fathers. Meanwhile, many TV sitcoms and animated shows continue to portray dads as dolts or, at best, well-meaning but misguided large children whose wives have to mother them as well as their offspring. If an alien in another universe happens to tune in to The Simpsons, Everyone Loves Raymond, Family Guy, etc., he (it?) will come away with a rather skewed idea of how men function in American families.

I’ll leave it to the sociologists to explain the many and complicated variables of race, class, gender issues, social policy, employment issues, and governmental interventions that are at the root of the diverging trends and the pejorative TV scripts. It’s enough to note that there is a major rethinking of fathers’ roles and responsibilities going on within the context of lots of rethinking in America. We may be reconsidering how family should be defined. We may be confused about gender roles. We may be struggling with knowing how to parent well in a complicated time. But in the midst of all this confusion, there is a growing consensus that what kids need, at least, is clear. Kids need their fathers as well as their mothers. Regardless of whether the father lives with his children, active participation in raising those children is good for everyone. The kids become healthier adults. The fathers come to a fuller and more complex maturity. The mothers have a reliable co-parent to share the responsibilities and challenges as well as the accomplishments of parenting.

How does this idea of “involved father” translate to daily life? Current research points to the following practical guidelines for responsible fatherhood.

 What’s a Father To Do?

 Embrace your responsibility. Once you are a father, you are a father for life. The knowledge of fatherhood changes a man. It can be a source of pride and maturity or a source of shame and regret. Even if you have good reasons for not being actively involved, acknowledging your paternity is a minimal gift you can provide to your child. With it comes many legal, psychological, and financial benefits. If you want to be in your child’s life, it also protects your rights to have time with your child should you and the child’s mother have a falling out.

Be there. In study after study, kids consistently say they would like to have more time with their dads. Regardless of whether a dad shares a home with the children and their mother, the kids need dad time. Working together on a chore or simply hanging out can be as meaningful as attending events or having adventures. Kids want to know their fathers. Just as important, they want their fathers to know them. Be there throughout their childhoods. There is no time in a child’s life that doesn’t count. Research has shown that even infants know and respond to their fathers differently than they do to their mothers. The bond you make with a baby sets the foundation for a lifetime. As the kids get older, they’ll need you in different ways but they will always need you. Insistent toddler, curious preschooler, growing child, prickly adolescent: Each age and stage will have its challenges and rewards. Kids whose parents let them know that they are worth their parents’ time and attention are kids who grow up healthy and strong. Boys and girls who grow up with attention and approval from their dads as well as their moms tend to be more successful in life.

 Respond to the needs of the kids, not your relationship with their mother. Regardless of whether you are getting along with your girlfriend or wife (present or ex), your relationship with the kids is exactly that: your relationship with the kids. The kids need predictability. They need care. They need a loving relationship with you. They need whatever financial support you can provide. None of these things should depend on whether you’ve had a disagreement or fight with their mom. None of these things should ever be withheld as a way to get even with her.

 Be in a respectful and appreciative relationship with their mother. Being a good dad is certainly possible both inside and outside of marriage. Regardless of whether you and their mom can work out how to be a committed couple, you can support each other as parents. Kids grow best when their parents treat each other with respect and appreciation. The kids then don’t feel torn between the two people they love. Do your financial share. Kids need to be fed, clothed, housed, and cared for. Children whose parents provide for them live better lives, feel valued, and have better relationships with both their parents. They need the role model of a responsible male acting responsibly. Just as they need you to be present in their lives, regardless of whether you live with their mom, they also need you to live up to financial obligations to the very best of your ability.

 Balance discipline with fun. Some dads make the mistake of being only the disciplinarian. The kids grow up afraid of their dads and unable to see the man behind the rules. An equal and opposite mistake is being so focused on fun that you become one of the kids, leaving their mother always to be the heavy. Kids need to have fathers who know both how to set reasonable, firm limits and how to relax and have a good time. Give yourself and the kids the stability that comes with clear limits and the good memories that come with play.

 Be a role model of adult manhood. Both boys and girls need you as a role model for what it means to be an adult and male. Make no mistake: The kids are observing you every minute. They are taking in how you treat others, how you manage stress and frustrations, how you fulfill your obligations, and whether you carry yourself with dignity. Consciously or not, the boys will become like you. The girls will look for a man very much like you. Give them an idea of manhood (and relationships) you can be proud of.

 Beyond these considerations, there is little agreement about how an “ideal father” should behave. It doesn’t seem to matter (in terms of the mental health of children) whether fathers work out of the home or stay home with the kids. It doesn’t seem to matter what job a dad has or how much money a dad makes, as long as he is doing his best. It doesn’t seem to matter what his interests and skills are, as long as he shares them with his children. It doesn’t seem to matter whether a father is very physically affectionate or loves more quietly as long as the kids know that he most certainly cares about them. What matters is for fathers to be committed to their children and involved with them over time. When fathers take that responsibility seriously, their children are more likely to do well and the fathers have few regrets.

A Father's Look Back

A Father’s Look Back: Learning About Cough Medicine Abuse the Hard Way

Posted by Five Mom, Five Moms, on Tuesday, June 19, 2012

By Rick Crandell

My wife Christy Crandell joined the Five Moms campaign in 2007 because when our son Ryan was 18 years old, he was arrested for armed robbery while under the influence of over-the-counter cough medicine and marijuana. We were your normal, close-knit family and when Ryan was first arrested we were both devastated.

Even though I have a close relationship with both of my children, I had no idea that Ryan was abusing cough medicine to get high. In fact, I always considered myself to be a good husband, a good father, and a positive role model for my sons. But after Ryan’s arrest, I quickly learned that being a good role model is simply not enough. If you do not know what is going on in your child’s life, how can you help them? Had I been more aware, perhaps I could have prevented Ryan from going down that path.

If you are a parent that has shared a similar experience to mine, you have probably found yourself in what feels like a hopeless and helpless situation. After Ryan’s arrest, we knew within that we must make an effort to raise awareness of how substance abuse in teens can impact families in every walk of life. We started Rocklin Community Against Substance Abuse (RCASA) in the living room of our home with family and friends who stood by us and wanted to make a difference. Nine years later, my lovely wife and many of the same friends who started with us now run Full Circle Treatment Center.

Parents today need to be educated about the problems teens are facing – like abusing cough medicine to get high – so that we can have open discussions about the issues they deal with daily. Think about your family, your friends and their children, and your neighbors – whether they live next door or across the country, they need to know about this dangerous trend.

Be sure you are informed – take the time to meet with the local school resource officer, community awareness groups, and most importantly, talk with your kids. As parents, we love our children and we want to believe that they will make the best decisions in life. But we often turn from the fact that the lives of our children are very different than that of our own. Young adults today have to navigate a tremendous amount of peer pressure that can catapult them into behavior that is destructive.

My wife and I never even imagined that cough medicine abuse was something that would affect our family. We learned about it the hard way, which is why my wife has worked so hard to raise awareness through her work in our community, her book Lost & Found: A Mother and Son Find Victory over Teen Drug Addiction, and the Five Moms campaign. In order to prevent medicine abuse, you have to know about medicine abuse. I encourage parents to educate themselves on teen trends like cough medicine abuse by visitingStopMedicineAbuse.org for more information and resources.

A Daddy Who Loves Me

June 13, 2012

A Daddy Who Loves Me
Sharon Jaynes




Today’s Truth

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,” (2 Corinthians 6:18 NIV).


Friend to Friend

One of my favorite retreat topics is from my book, 5 Dreams of Every Woman…and How God Longs to Fulfill Them. In this book I talk about five dreams every little girl has: to have a daddy who loves her, to be a bride, to be a mommy, to be beautiful, and to have a best friend. For most of us, we get to a point in our lives and realize life has not turned out the way we thought they would, especially in those 5 areas. But the good news is, God has a wonderful plan for you!


In talking to women all across the country, I have seen eyes fill with tears when I talk about the dream of having a daddy who loves me. But the tears are not for me, they reveal the longing in their own hearts. Butterfly Kisses is a song by Bob Carlisle that climbed the charts in 2000. It received international recognition in both the Christian and Secular music industries. The song was about the tender love between a father and his daughter, starting from her birth to her wedding day. Mr. Carlisle said, “I get a lot of mail from young girls who try to get me to marry their moms. That used to be a real chuckle because it’s so cute, but then I realized they didn’t want romance for mom. They want the father like the one that is in that song, and that just kills me.”


In the Old Testament, God has many names. He is Elohim – the Creator, El Elyon – God Most High, El Roi – the God who sees, El Shaddai – the All-Sufficient One, Adonai – the Lord, Jehovah – the Self-Existent One, Jehovah-Jireh –the Lord Will Provide, Jehovah – Rapha – the Lord who heals, Jehovah—Shalom – the Lord is peace, Jehovah-Raah – the Lord my Shepherd, and many more. His covenant name with the people of Israel was I AM. J.I. Packer, in his book, Knowing God, said, “He is: and it is because He is what He is that everything else is as it is.”


In the New Testament, Jesus introduced a new name for God – Father. It is the name that Jesus referred to more than any other and the name that He invites us to use to address the Creator of the Universe. Just stop and think about that for a moment. The God of the universe who created the heavens and the earth, who always has been and always will be, who is all-knowing, all-powerful, and present everywhere at once – that same God invites you to call Him - Daddy!


When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He said:


But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name….’ (Matthews 6:6-9 NIV).


Packer went on to say: “For everything that Christ taught, everything that makes the New Testament new and better than the Old, everything that is distinctly Christian as opposed to merely Jewish, is summed up in the knowledge of the fatherhood of God.” All other religions demand followers to worship created beings (Mohammad, Buddha), but Jehovah the Creator, the great I AM, invites us to crawl up in His lap, become His child, and call Him Abba, Daddy. He said, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,” (2 Corinthians 6:18 NIV).


This Father’s Day, no matter what your situation may be with your earthly dad, always remember that you have a Heavenly Father who loves you dearly and has your name written on the palm of His hand.

The Importance of Fathers

Every year in the month of June many of us get the opportunity to celebrate one of the most important men in our lives – our dads, daddies, fathers, or whatever our affectionate name for him may be. Father’s Day is a great day to reflect on the importance of fathers and how your own father helped you become the person you are today. Show your father how appreciative you are of him, because you probably don’t make it a point to show him your gratitude every day. So take this opportunity to reflect on all the good your father has done for you on this Father’s Day. Plus: Take our parenting quiz.

If you’ve ever heard the words, “Just wait until your father gets home,” you probably grew up in a family where, if you were in trouble, you feared the moment your dad walked through the door, home from work. Dads are frequently viewed as the go-to parent for discipline, sound advice and the playtime partner while mothers are the go-to parent for nurturing, sympathy and comfort from stressful situations. But fathers matter more than just being the person in the family who may rule with an iron fist.

Fathers who are positively involved in their children’s life provide a valuable foundation for their developmental needs, one that is complementary to what a mother provides.

The role of the father in the family has never lost its importance, no matter what the trends in society are. Not nearly as much research has focused on the importance of the father-child relationship as has the importance of the mother-child relationship. But what research has been done tells the same story – the importance of a child having a present and engaged father in his or her life can’t be underestimated. Research has continuously shown that children with involved fathers, on average, do better in school, have a greater motivation to succeed, have higher self-esteem and more confidence in unfamiliar settings, and are less like to be delinquent or abuse substances like drugs and alcohol. While these studies can never speak for everyone, the importance of the role of the father still remains the same – children are usually better off with a loving, present and committed father than those with no father to speak of.

To highlight the importance of fathers, read more about father-daughter relationships and father-son relationships:

Father-Daughter Relationships

Fathers matter immensely in the lives of their daughters. While mothers are generally the nurturing caretakers and role models for young girls, it’s the fathers who can actually provide them with a real sense of femininity. The relationship between fathers and daughters is like the training ground for what her other male relationships will be like, including the one with her husband. Fathers provide examples on how to relate to the opposite sex. Fathers show their daughters that their feelings and ideas count from a male perspective, and they give their daughters admiration and praise to help grow confidence. They also say that the first man to fall in love with a woman is her dad. The importance of this relationship is immeasurable.  

Father-Son Relationships

Male children need their fathers because no matter how wonderful a mother may be, it is the father who can provide his son with the reinforcement he needs for what it means to be a man. This can happen when fathers are there for their sons, develop common interests with them, show them their approval, and set a good example. When sons are provided with a good example by their fathers, they develop a healthy gender identity. It is also said that males may also never feel comfortable loving another man like they love their father, which says that a father-son bond is a truly special one.

A father’s love goes a long way in raising a child to be a well-adjusted adult.

As you celebrate your father on Father’s Day this year, don’t forget to remind him how his love and presence shaped you to be the person you are today, how you value the importance of fathers and how you hope he knows just how appreciative you are of him. 

Are You Making Your Child Fat?

Although you know how important it is to teach your child healthy habits, it can still be difficult to make the right choices in a world filled with fast food and sweets. Are you in control of your child's healthy eating habits, or could your overly restrictive or permissive parenting style be making your child fat? Take this parenting quiz to find out. ~ Unknown