Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Calling All Men
Men, I spoke with the women on yesterday and so today I want to speak with you. As always, I do not approach you from a place of condescension, nor do I preach or teach from the platform of perfection. The words that you read and hear come from the transformed heart of a man of God that chose to surrender his cloak of selfishness, pride, and arrogance in exchange for the quiet, yet unwavering, confidence of walking in his anointed purpose.
As men, it is important that we understand that it begins with us. No matter what this secular society attempts to convince you of, you are designed to be leaders, providers, protectors, coverings for your women and so much more. You were molded in the hands of God to influence generations, forge meaningful alliances, and build lasting legacies. However, as a collective we have failed in our responsibility; we have abdicated our God-ordained roles in lieu of self.
You may be asking, what does all of this have to do with marriage? Well, in order to be Godly husbands you must first be a Godly man. A Godly man has surrendered to the will of God and he has committed himself to the building of the Kingdom.
Yes, we have failed. We have found it to be an acceptable course of action to procreate and then abandon our progeny. We have concluded that life is about us and subsequently emerged ourselves into a perpetual state of narcissism. We have abandoned our roles as husbands to seek selfish ambitions that feed our egocentricity. We have bought into secular world views such as: ethical relativism, hedonism, nihilism, pantheism, relativism, secular humanism and many others while denying the call of God on our lives.
Listen to what Paul had to say to Timothy:
2 For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centered, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate [greedy] desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. They will be abusive (blasphemous, scoffing), disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane.
3 [They will be] without natural [human] affection (callous and inhuman), relentless (admitting of no truce or appeasement); [they will be] slanderers (false accusers, troublemakers), intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good.
4 [They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, [and] inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God.
5 For [although] they hold a form of piety (true religion), they deny and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. Avoid [all] such people [turn away from them]. (2 Tim. 3:2-5, AMP).
3 [They will be] without natural [human] affection (callous and inhuman), relentless (admitting of no truce or appeasement); [they will be] slanderers (false accusers, troublemakers), intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good.
4 [They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, [and] inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God.
5 For [although] they hold a form of piety (true religion), they deny and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. Avoid [all] such people [turn away from them]. (2 Tim. 3:2-5, AMP).
How much of what we read here are we seeing in men, not just men, but men that have professed the faith? Paul told timothy that these type of men have a form of Godliness, but they deny its power and are strangers to it. Why are we powerless to impact our environment? We only need to look at our behavior, which is a reflection of the condition of our heart.
I’m challenging men to rise to the moment. The moment demands leaders that will stand for God at all cost. The moment yearns standard bearers that will not compromise in order to please the majority. The moment yearns role models who refuse to ponder at the pool of popularity. The moment is crying out for fathers to instill identity and self-worth in their progeny. The moment is crying out for men who are willing become masters of their God-ordained destinies. The moment is speaking to the souls of women who need their husbands to lead them. Will you rise?
In our Men of the House meeting yesterday, the theme was “Stir Up The Gift”. Men, my desire is to stir up a revolution. A revolution that will see mean returning to their rightful places in the home and community. I envision a revolution that will see men coming out of the maze of mediocrity and ambling into their destiny of greatness and kingdom living. This revolution will create the foundation on which believers will begin to claim and take back ground that the enemy has stolen through deceit and treachery. The power of Christian influence in a secular culture will once again be realized.
It all starts with us. We have to rise above self and live in sacrifice.
Over two-hundred years ago, a simple man of faith determined within himself that he would make a difference. He made this bold statement: “Give me 100 men that fear nothing but God and hate nothing but sin and we will change the world.” This man was John Wesley; the man known as the ‘great revivalist’ and the father of the Methodist Movement.” Wesley understood the power of Men to impact their environment and their designed ability to influence generations. I believe that we are resting on the cusp of the next great revival. Give me 100 committed men and through the power of the Holy Spirit we will change the world.
Who will join me?
Dr. Rick Wallace
Thursday, August 1, 2013
The Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single
The Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single
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Television, radio, and the Internet have been buzzing nonstop for years about the plight of single, black women looking for love, but what about all the single, black men? Nobody's been bold enough to take a stand and speak out on behalf of all the good, single black men out there looking for love too. However, now, that's all changed. The Victory Unlimited Show (www.victoryunlimitedshow.com) attacks this issue with the kind of guts, gusto, humor, and controversy that's rarely heard in the mainstream media.
Based on feedback from the show's fan base, the most recent broadcast entitled "The Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single" put forth the following list as the reasons why so many good black men are still unhappily single:
1. They keep meeting women with unrealistic expectations for what they want in a man.
2. They keep meeting women who put them in the wrong category by writing them off too quickly as not being "their type".
3. They're not wanted because they're not needed. Too many women have told them that they don't "need" a man.
4. They keep meeting black women who don't respect them just because they "are" black men.
5. They keep failing women's Girlfriend Approval Test. If the woman's friends don't like them, then that woman won't give them a chance either.
6. They keep meeting women who are not interested in them, but only in how much money they make.
7. They're nobody until somebody else loves them. Not enough women see them as a prize unless they see a lot of other women chasing after them first.
8. They meet too many women who don't really know what they want.
9. They meet too many women who believe that single, good black men are "too good to be true".
10. They're the right man at the wrong time.
11. They meet too many women who don't recognize a good man when they see one.
12. They don't promote all the great things about themselves boldly or consistently enough to enough women.
-Blacknews.com
2. They keep meeting women who put them in the wrong category by writing them off too quickly as not being "their type".
3. They're not wanted because they're not needed. Too many women have told them that they don't "need" a man.
4. They keep meeting black women who don't respect them just because they "are" black men.
5. They keep failing women's Girlfriend Approval Test. If the woman's friends don't like them, then that woman won't give them a chance either.
6. They keep meeting women who are not interested in them, but only in how much money they make.
7. They're nobody until somebody else loves them. Not enough women see them as a prize unless they see a lot of other women chasing after them first.
8. They meet too many women who don't really know what they want.
9. They meet too many women who believe that single, good black men are "too good to be true".
10. They're the right man at the wrong time.
11. They meet too many women who don't recognize a good man when they see one.
12. They don't promote all the great things about themselves boldly or consistently enough to enough women.
-Blacknews.com
The Victory Unlimited Show is a "tongue-in-cheek," self-help show for men that's reminiscent of programs from the Golden Age of Radio. For more details, visitwww.victoryunlimitedshow.com
Monday, July 15, 2013
The Long Haul
The Long Haul
“To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in You…Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; on You I wait all the day. –Psalm 25:1, 5 (NKJV)
By far, one of the greatest hardships we could ever endure as a parent is to be alienated from our children. If or when this does occur, the way we handle (and overcome) the battle will depend greatly on how grounded we are in our walk with the Lord. Parental alienation is a very real problem in our society these days, often the cause of a spiteful individual, the legal system, or our own choices. (For a very extreme example, please check out this link. Regardless of the how it was initiated, the fact is that the alienated parent is often horribly affected and the children may be caught in the middle as collateral damage. Can I say that I’ve been a victim of PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome)? Not to the full extent, no. I have, however, been accused of false reports and had my own daughter withheld from me intentionally for short periods of time. I have also experienced several men in our single dad small group who have been separated without cause from their children for considerable lengths of time- sometimes weeks, months, or even longer. It is for this reason that I was inspired to write this article; not to bully my way into the legalities and politics of our legal system- but to give any single parent who is being alienated from their own kids right now hope that only comes in the Person of Jesus Christ.
When Trouble Arises
I can still recall the moment my door buzzer rang a few years ago. I peeked down the apartment building hallway and saw a woman standing with a police officer at the front door. I buzzed them in and invited them into my apartment. He was local law enforcement; she was from Child Protective Services. I was given information that there was a case pending against me, but they could not tell me why. All I was told was that I was not able to see my daughter the next day and that I would be contacted by a detective very soon. I was able to calmly thank them for their time and escort them out, but was literally about to explode internally. The moment they left my house I cried out loud and ran to my room where I threw myself on the floor before God and poured my heart out. After a several minute complaint filing with Him I gathered myself enough to call my mentor and tell him what had just happened.
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.” –Matt 7:24-27 (NASB)
I was fortunate enough that by this point I had a firm enough foundation in my walk that I did not retaliate and sought out help immediately. Thank the Lord that I was able to speak with a detective a day or two later and the case was dropped on the spot. Although I have an extremely strong idea why this happened and who initiated it, I never even brought it up again because God had shown up and handled the problem. Also, I did not want to cause any further confusion to my daughter and there was no need for added conflict between me and the other party. The point is here that trials and tests will arise, but as followers of Christ we DO have the ability to make it through - no matter how impossible it may seem (John 16:33). Here are a couple quick, yet vital, steps that will help you persevere through tests and trials in life, no matter how difficult they may be.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Christian Manhood: Gentleness Isn't Being the "Nice Guy"
Christian Manhood: Gentleness Isn't Being the "Nice Guy"
When Christian men hear or read about the virtue of gentleness, they often substitute this virtue with the vice of niceness. This is especially the case for younger Christian men, and the results can be deadly when it comes to love, marriage and fatherhood.
What is niceness? Niceness in many ways is a perverted form of gentleness. What does true gentleness look like? Genuine gentleness brings needed force into a situation or relationship, but it is a force that is moderate and kind in its presentation. Gentleness is respectful, but respectful enough to be truthful and at the same time gracious.
Niceness is often disguised as gentleness, but you can see the difference if you look closely. Mere "niceness" brings no redemptive power to a matter at hand, whether with a spouse, co-worker, or obnoxious coach who belittles and exasperates a child. The apostle Paul admonishes fathers not to exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4). Christian men who focus on niceness try hard to fulfill this requirement but in many situations fail since a father's lack of power frustrates and angers his children. Nice Christian men also fail to stop other fathers from exasperating their children because correcting another, may seem, well, not very nice. Due in part to their spiritual training, nice Christian men often double-exasperate children.
In many ways, the unstated goal of niceness is to say or do something without saying or doing anything truly meaningful. It favors manners over truth. Niceness is the drowning of force, the unwilling to use any. It is the state of being that has been defined for ages as "weak."
The understanding that a gentle man still wields force - albeit moderately - and with it power, is an eye-opening revelation to many of the Christian men at my conferences. Their spiritual training has them believing that gentleness means using no force at all - like niceness. This revelation often propels them into a better, though uncharted, direction.
When Is It Okay to be Forceful?
Learning to use the appropriate amount of force in any given situation takes time and a cultivation of virtue. Yes, the moderate use of force for redemptive purposes is a virtue, but please understand that it can also be a vice. Some situations in life demand setting aside even gentleness, requiring more than moderate levels of force. For example, a police officer who only uses moderate force may be a dangerous imposter when greater force is necessary to ensure peace and protection. By the way, if you trace the origin of the word virtue, as Dr. Henry Cloud has in his beneficial work Integrity, you'll see that one of its meanings is "force." Virtue brings energy and force to a situation. Niceness refuses the task, usually because of fear of rejection.
When Is It Okay to be Forceful?
Learning to use the appropriate amount of force in any given situation takes time and a cultivation of virtue. Yes, the moderate use of force for redemptive purposes is a virtue, but please understand that it can also be a vice. Some situations in life demand setting aside even gentleness, requiring more than moderate levels of force. For example, a police officer who only uses moderate force may be a dangerous imposter when greater force is necessary to ensure peace and protection. By the way, if you trace the origin of the word virtue, as Dr. Henry Cloud has in his beneficial work Integrity, you'll see that one of its meanings is "force." Virtue brings energy and force to a situation. Niceness refuses the task, usually because of fear of rejection.
A man's need to cultivate virtue brings us to another point: If the goal of Christian life is to imitate Jesus, then it's important we have an accurate picture of Jesus. It's important we knock down, whenever possible, the anti-biblical and false idol of Pleasant and Mild Jesus, who we foolishly try to emulate. True, Jesus was gentle. But he was not always gentle, thank God. Moderate force cannot save us from wickedness, evil, addictions, the devious plans of others, or our own convenient rationalizations that bring numbing comfort but not true security. Sometimes the best thing a good person, or God, can do for us is to give the gift of desperation--something gentleness is ill-equipped to perform and something niceness never does.
I receive many letters from wives of Christian Nice Guys, explaining how heroic they've behaved in order to help their husbands be more involved, connected, and protective of their families. Yet no change has occurred. Sometimes the gift of desperation is the only option that works.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Taking Back Dominion
Men, I would like to tell you that I have all of the answers, but the truth is that I struggle in certain areas. I would love to say that I am the perfect father, but I find myself in need of improvement daily.
I would love to say that I have been a perfect husband, but I have failed at marriage and as the leader and the head, the responsibility of that failure begins with me. It is not about placing blame or assigning fault, it is about understanding your role and the responsibility associated with it.
It is time for us to rise up and live in our Divine design. It is time to take hold of our purpose and move toward our destiny with a determination that refuses to relinquish any ground to wayward thinking and selfish ambition.
It is time to rise up. Dr. Rick Wallace
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