Getting out of God's Way

October 30, 2012

Getting out of God’s Way
Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns,” - (Philippians 1:6 New Living Translation).

Friend to Friend
He ironed. I watched.

I stood in the door frame of my guest room, watching my nephew Jonathan iron the wrinkles out of his crumpled shirt, the rumpled creases out of his crumpled heart. He ironed and talked. I watched and listened.

Jonathan, my twenty-seven-year-old nephew, stopped by for a visit on his way to a wedding in my hometown. I’ll take every opportunity to spend time with my two nephews, Stu and Jonathan, and their sister Grace Ann. I’ve always been convinced that the stork dropped them off at the wrong address, missing my doorstep by 200 miles or so. I’m just crazy about them.
But life hasn’t been so easy for this precious nephew, or his siblings. While they have an adoring godly mother, it has been the absence of a father that has left a lingering ache – an oozing wound. Each one has reacted differently to the abandonment, but it has been Jonathan, the youngest, who seems to have struggled the most.

I’ve always known that God had a special plan for Jonathan. The shaping and molding by God has been fierce, intentional, deliberate. But today he ironed.

“Aunt Sharon, can I borrow your iron to press my shirt for the wedding?”
“Sure, Bud,” I replied as I pointed him to the board.

I plugged the iron in the outlet, leaned against the doorframe, and watched.
As Jonathan moved the iron back and forth across the wrinkled fabric, he ironed out much more than a shirt. He ironed out the wrinkles in his heart, pressed out the pain of life without a dad, smoothed out the hurt of abandonment, and steamed out the stubborn creases of years of questions. Why did his dad leave? Why wasn’t he worth sticking around for? Why wasn’t he worth the effort? Why was he more affected and infected by the virus of abandonment than his siblings?

He ironed.

He pressed.

He talked.

I watched.

I listened.

I prayed.

I loved.

“God has done so much for me and in me,” he explained. “It has taken a long time, but He has healed me. He has mended my heart. I’m ready to move on now. More than my dad coming home to me, I pray that he will come home to Jesus. That’s what I want more than anything.”
Twenty minutes later, Jonathan finished ironing. One shirt. One heart.

You know, I could have said, “Hey, let me just iron that for you.” I could have finished the job in two minutes or less. But this was not about ironing a shirt. This was about pressing out the rumpled creases in a young man’s heart. I couldn’t do that. Only he and God could. Jonathan needed to hold the iron of God’s love and move it back-and-forth, back-and-forth, until the rumpled mess was smoothed. My job was to watch. To listen. To pray. To love.

How about you? Is there someone in your life that has a wrinkled wounded heart? Have you yanked the healing tool of God’s love out of His hand and tried to iron out his or her problems yourself? Did you ever consider that you might be standing in the way of what God is trying to do? Those are hard questions. Perhaps you have thought that you could solve a problem or heal a heart quicker than waiting on God. Perhaps you’ve stepped in where you were never meant to step. (Speaking of stepping…I think I’m stepping on some toes. Mine are starting to hurt too.)

It’s hard not to step in! Our momma’s heart wants to help. We don’t like to see our kids, or anyone, hurting. But just as the caterpillar has to struggle to emerge from the cocoon, a soul has to struggle in the dark places of life in order to soar. And we shouldn’t mess with that.
It was such a joy to hear how Jonathan had pressed through the pain and let God iron out his questions – how God had smoothed out the bumps in the rocky road of adolescence after abandonment. He wears his mended heart well. That doesn’t mean that it won’t need a touch up pressing when daily life ruffles-up the fabric of his heart from time to time. But I have every confidence that he and God will iron out the wrinkles together.

And the shirt? It looked pretty good.

Let’s Pray
Dear Lord, forgive me for trying to fix other people’s problems when they are not mine to fix. Today, I’m committing to watch, to listen, to pray, and to love. Help me not to get in Your way of what You are doing in someone else’s life.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

A Wake Up Call: Time to Build Your Legacy

A Wake Up Call

As a minister of God’s Word, an author and a business man it is easy for me to find myself striving toward the next goal and caught up in the lures of life. Even as a minister, pushing to accomplish the vision without proper consideration being given to priorities and God’s ultimate will can easily lead to failure in ways that you may not be aware of.

When I wrote The Invisible Father almost six years ago, the vision was clear and the message was lucid; Men, it’s time to step up.” What wasn’t clear to me at the time is that even in pursuing a great cause like bringing men back into the functionality of their Divine design as husbands, fathers, community leaders, coverings, providers and more can lead to misdirecting energy and effort. In other words, it is extremely easy to get caught up in the cause and miss your own opportunities to grow in the same area.

I was having a conversation with my youngest daughter this past weekend. For the most part, the conversation went as usual. I spend a lot of time with my daughters confirming their identity and self-worth. This was another one of those times. Somewhere in the conversation between me telling her how beautiful, intelligent, and exceptionally creative she is, a light came on in my head. Rick, your ministry, your message, your anointed calling is extremely important, but your role as a father will leave a much greater and lasting legacy. The question that followed immediately after this epiphany was, “Have I done anything as a father that has made such an indelible mark that it has solidified my legacy as a father and the answer, unfortunately, was no. Had I been there in some way? For the most part. Had I spent time confirming and affirming my children? Yes. Had I told them I loved them? Every chance I got? Yes. Had I given all that I had as a father, had I been consistent as I should, did I reflect God the Father’s love in my love toward them? Not as I should.

I praise God for this revelation because it gave me a new focus. It rekindled a new passion in me. Some would think I would be saddened or discouraged by my less than stellar assessment of my status as a father. On the contrary, I accept the challenge and appreciate the opportunity to rise above the mediocre social paradigms that set the standard for fatherhood in this culture. Am I proud of where I am? No. However, I see how God will use the father that I am becoming to inspire others to follow suit. I am praying that this transparent assessment will motivate other men to do the same. Instead of patting ourselves on the back for the things we are doing right, we should take the time out to discover where we could improve.

Dr. Rick Wallace Ph.D.

Please don’t take this as a disregard of all that some fathers are doing in honoring their filial responsibilities. I solute every man that has remained committed to his paternal responsibilities. I wish more fathers would assume more active roles in the lives of their progeny. I just don’t want us as a whole to settle for the secular standards of fatherhood. I don’t want us to become conceited in our accomplishments and lose sight of the need to continue to rise. There is kingdom work to be done out there and begins with Godly men assuming their God-ordained roles.

Let today be the day that you recommit. Let today be the day that you determine within your being that you will rise. Let today be the day that you establish a covenant with God and your children. Commit to be accessible. Commit to be present (whenever possible, I know that there are fathers that are not in the same City with their children. This means that you have to exert more effort into finding ways to being impactful in your absence.) I have one final question: When you join me? ~ Dr. Rick Wallace

Dr. Wallace is the author of The Invisible Father; Reversing the Curse of a Fatherless Generation.